#1. Never have faith that ‘nobody could be stupid enough to do that‘
#2. Never, NEVER eat Krispy Kreme (r) doughnuts. I have sunk oceans-worth of alcoholic beverages in my time, and eaten more abbatoirs’ worth of questionable animal-derived by-products than days I have lived, but I have never felt my liver fur up, my teeth scream and my bowels lurch and writhe quite like when I first sampled their morbid sweetness. Each one must take half an hour off of your life. That’s like, two pints. And that’s too much.
#2 can come in, but I’m not having it as #2. That has to be something of even more earth shattering wisdom. Hard to imagine, I know, but I believe the truth is out there.
#1 can’t come in because whilst it is probably true, it sounds like something you see on a postcard in offices. You may resubmit a rewording of it in 2 months time having contemplated some more young sparrow.
The Groover is as ever, harsh but fair.