Having recently been overcome by my annual post-Christmas wallowing, I’ve found myself to be mainly devoid of anything worth sharing and, on the few occasions that I have been blessed with some thought more interesting than ‘Can I get away with not shaving for work again tomorrow?’, I’ve severely lacked the tiniest amount of motivation required to drag it out of me.
But today is different, today something happened to spur me into action – and as you’ve probably already guessed, the event in question was not something to send my soul cartwheeling out of its self-pitying attitude.
Now, I have been a member of Blockbuster video, on and off, in various parts of the country since I was 18. That’s nearly 9 years of video, DVD and computer game rentals, as well as the obligatory over-priced confectionery that prevents easy access to any given Blockbuster front desk. Also, due to my ridiculous temper that only seems to rear its deformed little head when I lose at computer games, I have been responsible for a large proportion of Blockbuster’s sales of Playstation & Playstation 2 controllers (Bennie & Soapbox especially can vouch for that).
During that time I’ve had a fair few fines, all of which have been paid the next time I venture in there. But hey, that’s part and parcel of DVD rental if you’re as laid back about that sort of thing as I am. About 2 weeks ago we had 3 films out for 2 nights, 3 being more than we’d usually rent at once, but I think we got talked into ‘taking advantage’ some kind of promotion by the twat behind the counter. As usual, they were returned a day late, but as usual I just assumed they’d sting me for it the next time I went in there.
However, this morning a letter arrived from Blockbuster head office. At first the tone was fairly polite and it lulled me into a false sense of security as I assumed that they were probably about to offer me some other kind of rental promotion. The letter went on to draw my attention to the fact that I had fines of £5.85 outstanding on my account from as long ago as 15 January 2007, and requested that I pay up. No real problem there, though I do find it a little forthright, especially given the size of the debt, the length of time it had been outstanding and my previous account history. But what came next did truly fuck me off.
The final paragraph basically said, ‘If you don’t pay us within 21 days we’re going to employ debt collection agents to stick jagged edged DVD cases up your cunting jap’s eye until you do.’.
Let me get this straight. I’ve been a relatively good customer of yours for some time, I’ve always paid fines in the past, and you’re threatening me with fucking debt collectors for a fucking debt of 5 fucking quid that’s been outstanding for 3 fucking weeks?
Well they can just fuck off, that’s what I say. I’ve paid the twatting fine but that’s the last ounce of cash they’ll get out of my belligerant Northern money sac. Blockbuster are a bunch of gaping arseholes, cream-pied gaping arseholes. I’m never going there again and I hope that, in a show of outraged consumer solidarity you choose to do the same.
For my own amusement and personal satisfaction, I’ve cut my card into many many tiny pieces that are currently atop my cistern. When the time comes at around 8-8:30 tomorrow morning I’ll sprinkle them gayly in the pan, before physically shitting all over them. Cunts.
Mr Unholy, as much as it pains me to censor anyone that writes on bolo – lets face it we’ve gunned pretty much everything that’s sacred on this site, with barely a raised eyebrow from myself, but in this case I had to intervene.
Use of an image of a swastika on this website, even though your rant is anti-fascist, threatens to bring down such a shitstorm on me from persons including, the general public, my hosting company and my work colleagues that I have removed it forthwith.
Apologies if you feel your right to creative expression has now been compromised.
Those foeces frollicking fuckwits. You should interrupt one of their disgustingly depraved dick ‘n’ pig’s muck fests with some clean water – I bet it’ll burn the scummers like holy water on a vampire.
Sorry about that. It seems I’ve been saving up some extreme filth for some time….
Good to hear some Nag venting.
Oh man, I didn’t know I was reading the censored version. I hear the uncut one can be bought on e-bay for 30 grand.
You may or may not be interested to learn that the dirty deed has just been accomplished chums.
And Groover, I’m most disappointed to discover you’ve been inhabited by the evil spirit of Mary Whitehouse. The power of Bolo compels you, the power of Bolo COMPELS you…
I was disappointed in myself you know, particularly when, about an hour later, I’m watching Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe and he makes some joke about fascists only to momentarily turn around his laptop screen to show pretty much exactly the same rendition of the symbol of evil, that until I stepped in, graced the pages of bolo.
Ah well, it seems that at heart I lack moral courage, or perhaps there is too much misplaced goodness in my heart. Who knows?
Just had a look at the stats for Bolo and it appears someone looked at this post having searched for “blockbuster head office” in google. It probably wasn’t what they were looking for, but I’m sure the information would have informed their future enquiry.
Nice one, I hope they took it all on board. It feels good to have vented my spleen and provided a valuable public service.