There’s this bird at work, bit of a loon, but generally I used to think she was ok. The other day we had some confusion over whether or not she’d put something on my desk and after 5 minutes of circular discussion where she claimed not to have done, it transpired that I was right and she had.
I chuckled and called her a ‘crazy bastard’ in a genuinely affectionate sort of way, at which point she flew into some sort of super-razzy and stormed off. Despite being assured by anyone who knew me that I’d only said it because I considered her to be a mate, she refused point-blank to speak to me.
Today, the moronic bitch finally warmed a little, and as I stood in her corner of the office indulging in a bit of post-argument awkward chit-chat, she couldn’t resist dragging the whole thing back out.
‘But you don’t understand’ I pleaded, ‘It was said as banter, you know, if I really meant it I wouldn’t have said it.’ (There was logic in there somewhere).
‘You should never talk like that to a lady.’ she decreed in reply, and that was it, the classic ‘speak first, think later’ sub-routine was already executing itself –
‘Yeah of course, but you’re no lady.’
The ripple of stifled laughter in our vicinity was swiftly followed by a menacing glare and her purposeful exit from the room. Some things will never change.
Excellent. I’m sure she’s one of those women who prefer tar and feathers to flowers on Valentine’s day….at least she can’t accuse you of sexual harassment, the edgy loon.
Sounds like you hit a nerve there! Hilarious. Perhaps she is having regular zaps on the ECT machine? Ask her if you can have a go one day?