This applies in the unlikely event that any of you ever find yourselves in a dingy Welsh pub chatting to a drunken and overtly English-hating Irishman, accompanied by his 15 year old pregnant girlfriend, and it comes out during casual conversation that he’s recently been released from prison for GBH.
When events reach that inevitable climax where he threatens to bite your finger off, whatever you do, DON’T stick your fucking finger in his fucking mouth. Trust me, even if though you feel proud and empowered at the time, you’ll regret it in the morning.
I would also suggest that you never call someone a shiny-faced cunt unless you are confident that you can have them, even while incredibly drunk.
Naggs – I hope you didn’t really do that, but I can see it so vividly in my mind that it seems almost certain you did. Reminds me of the time me and a mate were introduced, with stoned horror, to a brummy murderer called Tracey. I’ll save that one for another day.