Oh how they make me laugh, 2 cats flying about my living room attempting to kill each other. Proper going for it. Claws out, tails swinging uncontrollably from side to side, they spring for one another before breaking and lining up to do it all over again. In between times they tear away at my decrepit sofas and cast me a look so choc full of attitude that a lesser man would wet himself in fear. And all the time I watch intently, chuckling away like the village idiot, willing them not to stop.
But of course, I shouldn’t encourage it. Sooner or later it always ends in tears as I have to spend yet more time and, more painfully for the son of a Yorkshire accountant, money at my local vet, as 1 of them inevitably deals enough damage to the other that I need to get it fixed. Such are the concerns of the day for a man who dwells in the foothills of South Wales, the distended and thoroughly unneccesary pot belly of Britain.
I don’t mind the place so much, but these bastards who live here just don’t seem to get it. At a time when people are attempting to break down the boundaries between civilisations, these fuckers are attempting to put them up.
The Welsh language for example – the damn thing is practically dead, but the minority insist that god knows how much time and public funding needs to be wasted attempting to keep it alive. For a start, everything – road markings, street signs, leaflets, standard government notices & literature – has to be written bi-lingually. The hospitals are failing, schools are closing, pensioners are getting locked up for not paying their extortionate council tax bills. ‘Where is the money going?’ cry the masses. I’ll tell you where, you backwater pigeon fuckers, its paying for all those things you have that cost double what they do in the rest of the UK because you insist on printing them bi-lingually.
Then there’s S4C. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s an all Welsh speaking TV channel. Now I’m not set against this in principle, if you’re going to insist on having a 2 bit national language it makes sense to broadcast some TV programmes in it. What really bugs me however, is that this doesn’t exist as a channel in its own right – no, it takes the place of cunting Ch4. I mean, if you’re going to replace 1, why not replace ITV, it’s absolute dogshit. Don’t replace the best channel on terrestrial TV, anyone would think that they want the rest of the world to think that they’re genetically retarded.
I’ve succeeded in getting myself all gnarled up inside now, I may have to wank.
Fuck! I’ve almost shat myself laughing!
Bolo welcomes you nag. May you prosper under its auspices and receive most excellent internet wisdom from the cloud people like wot i do.
Big up to your hairy inner self Nagular. Good to read your abject mental filth as always. And, as they say over the border – Cumkwango Kngroo Spffffng grack whore candelly shanty bockwheatsandshifterlimpcck (take it easy)