…….the posse of angry young Thais searching for the elusive Coybag in order to thrash him to within an inch of his life for crimes against beachwear, and refusal to engage in paedophilia…found no further trace apart from a postcard, unsigned – nestling in a crack in the rocks, between a starfish and a used condom – that read, cryptically and tellingly: “Hi guys, loving Thailand; food, weather, beaches all great, loads of pics…wish u were here!”. Questioned about the authenticity of this clue, the locals were adamant that it was deposited by a man very closely fitting the description of the whitish, tallish, bluey-brown-eyed fugitive. It was also ruled out that the adjacent six-foot letters scraped into the sand that read “Opened bolo’s Asian office, promptly closed it due to inundation by shit flies and air conditioning condensation and started enjoying my holiday…when I get over the shits and the jet lag I my just write about the shits and the jet lag…”were of any interest to the investigation…..REUTERS
An Asian office of Bolo is certainly on the cards, particularly now the Greek has decamped to Singapoore. He tells tall tales of the wonders of a benign dictatorship and crazed characters who address him by his new alias, Mr Lik.
Wicked. Thailand seems like a great place to sort you head out doesn’t it? Until you get there. Just remember the red bull has amphet in it, and keep an eye on the size of keen girls hands, the way their long hair sits (or not) on their fairly frequently masculine craniums and the tell tale adam’s apple removal scar…..Or just embrace it all and live like a German sex tourist. Final travel tip – avoid bars where they bring the chang out uncapped. Then again, none of these pointers helped me. Hmmm. MAybe travel writing is not a suitable plan B for me…