Say Cobblers to a Rainy Day (Nod to Ogden Nash)

My shoe comes apart -
The sole becomes detached
From the upper.
I walk with a slap
“Like a penguin on crack”.
Why that simile seemed appropriate
Is now beyond me, baby.
All I know is that water from the puddle I so childishly just walked through is seeping slowly into my sock.
Reminding me that no matter where I live, how much money I earn or whatever sex I end up as, I will never be able to tolerate wet underwear or write poems that adequately express the misery it brings.